do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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