I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
