What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
