he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize