forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
