you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
