the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
