oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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