We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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