hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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