"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
