I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
only if we run a train.
done.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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