For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize