i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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