Christians are straight up FREAKS
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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