Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
