I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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