My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
