You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
