maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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