barbara walters just said penis...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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