Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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