I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
