if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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