I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
