I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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