I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
