He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
