it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I want a musical about memes.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
