Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
