Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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