can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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