just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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