She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
