Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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