Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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