Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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