i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well I just put wine in my tea
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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