i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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