So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
