I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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