The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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