Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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