I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
