my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
