So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it was like eating out sand paper
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
