I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
