I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
