I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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