So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
