Need sex. Gaining weight.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
