I skipped work to stalk him.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
