he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize