well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
