He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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