Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
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She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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