Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You're a disaster
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