Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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