There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
