Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
